applause, courage

Looking fancy

Went out with my son Dakota and my beautiful bf Neno today.  Felt the urge to binge whilst watching the guys eat tons of flavorful food, but curbed my own cravings by purchasing something veggie. I was full of resentment and identifed the dark stupid feels. I recognized that my addiction to food is incredibly powerful and we had a great conversation about how this disorder. How important it is to make good food decisions. We did some food shopping for the junk my boy Camden loves to eat. Found a great outfit for interviews. Did my nails, and found a nice white paint for the downstairs hall. Just need to scrap the old calking off the tub, tape it up and re-calk it. Getting it together.

Fixing my environment, and fancying things up. I must add color and brightness to my life as I go… must keep smiling.

courage, spiritual

To the Universe:

I’m looking for support and strength from wherever I can find it. I’d like to ask my source, and whatever positive energy, angels etc… to stay with me and my boys during these difficult times. I’m struggling with a soon to be ex-husband. Married 10 yrs, seperate living 7 yrs (sex a handful of times the first yr, but that was it.)My 18 y/o child with aspergers is resisting growth and opportunity. My 16 y/o is in drivers ed, and desires to drive immediately even though I don’t drive or have a vehicle. (I need someone to help him practice and get the hrs he needs, in order to get his license.) I homeschool my soon to be 10 y/o, who is autistic and doesn’t exactly like to cooperate with me. I just need strength, courage and focus. I’d like a sign that everything will be OK, if possible. Thanks. 🙂

courage, volunteerism

Mission Possible: Volunteer!

Tomorrow I’m heading out to First Assembly Church to see if they will allow me to help out. I’ve got tons of meaning handling my children, but eventually I’d like to take a CNA course offered through MMC. I’ll need references. I don’t mind doing food distribution, and general stuff for helpful religious orgs even though I am an agnostic. I grew up subsisting on food pantries, so I know how it works. There are a few other places close to home where I can offer support as well. I’ll check them out and ask around for volunteer opportunities. I can keep busy and earn the references I need, doing some good for the community, without spending too much time out of the house and away from the kids.